weren’t attached I swear I would loose it.
One of the things that I truly HATE about myself is that I tend to lose things. In college I lost my stupid ID card about 10 times… each time I would swear and curse and tear things apart searching for it. I would get so pissed off at myself that I seriously would wish I was someone else. I mean how can I be so stupid!? This has not changed because I’ve forgotten things or misplaced things (IMPORTANT things) since then. Rings, skirts, MIND you name it I’ve lost it, and now the closest chapter to this drama.
I went to Honduras this summer for 10 days and while there I took about 10 rolls of film. 7 or so were black and white and the rest were color. Well when I got home I just never got around to getting them developed. Part of it was because I didn’t want to send it to some Joe Shmo developer, I wanted to send it to a good one – but going to a good one took some effort and I was Numero Uno lazyass this summer so I never got it done. So the nice ziplock bag filled with my film began to collect dust sitting there on my side table. One day I decided to move it, I had friends coming over and I didn’t want them to see that I hadn’t gotten my Honduras pictures developed… I mean it was the most moving time of my life HOW oh HOW did I not want to develop the pictures to show everyone I loved??? SO I put them someplace safe and sound… so safe in fact that today when I finally (FINALLY) was going to go get them developed I could not find them. NO WHERE!! I even looked in my roomates bedroom for the sake of looking – not like she took them, but if I didn’t look I might still be wondering. Now, my apartment isn’t all that big so there’s not that many hiding spots… they’re gone. GONE out of thin air. A ziplock bag of film.
I’m heartbroken! What the F is wrong with me??? How do they just dissapear like that? Honestly! I can’t understand, my mind can’t fathom where these rolls of film could be. Could someone have mistaken it as their own??? My roomate? That possiblity seems rediculous since all she uses is a digital camera PLUS she would have seen said film on the side table collecting dust knowing it was my Honduras pics waiting to be taken out.
So many carefully composed shots, I’m so bummed right now. I am not giving up ALL hope, but most of it’s pretty tinkered out. Self-loathing kicks in about now. How could I be so stupid?? i mean COME ON!
To make me feel even worse here is a picture of some of the beautiful children I had a chance to meet. One of my trip partners took this and gave me her CD of pictures.
These children are at a project called Vaso de Leche. These are chlidren of families who cannot feed them properly everyday. It is a mal-nutrition site. They eat warm milk and corn flakes every morning at a woman’s home. Something so simple as a bowl of cereal is what’s keeping these children from getting sick.
I am putting together a Honduras presentation for my school with the two women I went with. They both have been on top of things getting their pictures developed and creating their slides, where I AM THE Jerk who’se lost their pictures. OH please oh please let them come out from somewhere.